it's a wonderful life

National Novel Writing Month

2010-11-02T15:15:00.000-06:00

So. I signed up. I wonder if I can do this? 50,000 words by the end of the month? whew. Be glad I'm not writing it all here!! that's over a thousand words a day.

I don't even have an idea or a them yet. Care to share any? gotta get thinking here...

stress

2010-08-19T12:23:00.001-06:00

I’m feeling it. Circumstances promote it. Just can’t get out from under it.

Why is it that when I think I’m getting a grip on things, those things revolt and tell me otherwise?

i'm learning

2010-08-11T19:20:00.000-06:00

I'm learning a lot these days:

grownup offspring don't get that their mother doesn't want to 'mother' when they are visiting
nor does she wish to pick up or otherwise do all the housekeeping
20-somethings eat a lot and make a lot of mess
ripe plums demand attention
itunes is wonderful
dogs bark in tandem, and always when I'm absorbed in something so as to strengthen the startle
summer is too short
a violin bow is a fussy thing, and very personal
sharing one bathroom with a teenager in the house is difficult
if that teen is a girl it is much more difficult again
when I'm missing knives I should look in the bedrooms? huh?
garlic on tomatoes tastes wonderful
i should paint when I feel like it or I'll miss the picture
i should write when I feel like it or I'll miss the song

I'm learning all this while I cook and clean and talk to kids and play violin and sing and strum and plan and think and love my husband. One day I expect I'll know an awful lot!

the darkroom

2010-06-26T06:09:00.001-06:00

Well, here it is. The last day. Sitting in the dark, when you first think about it, isn't nice. After considering my options (none) I realized that, as always, one has to make the best of these things. The time in the dark was spent learning songs (four new songs, perfectly), thinking and praying. Eyes had to stay open for these prayers - they shut once or twice and sleep was instantaneous - but they were fruitful. God gave me contentment to be there, trust that my family was well and in His care, and inspiration to continue and be creative. New ideas, hopes and dreams developed while I sat in the dark. There is a new picture of me developing because of these two weeks. The evenings were somewhat as dark, though in a daylit sort of way. This, too, served to promote the new picture. Understanding, compassion, kindness, mercy, patience. It was developed. Perserverance, hope, gentleness - I thought I had some of this but I sure know it better now.

Perhaps I'll have some pictures soon.

Of course where I'm staying doesn't look quite like this at the moment - it's spring here (not summer, as the calendar suggests). These mountains and rivers are very beautiful.

Hm

2010-06-10T10:26:00.000-06:00

Here I sit

wondering

knowing I'm in His will

and wondering:

what's going to come of this?

what great thing is this?

where is the blessing?

My heart cries

all day long

to be rescued from the distress

inadequate faith?

but the mustard seed....

God, you see that seed.

You know my weakness.

You know I want to honour you with my life.

I'm stepping into the water.

It's raging

in a flood,

trying to take me down.

I know you can make it calm.

I know you can give me song.

My heart wants to sing

and rejoice in You.

This sorrow

always sorrow

is a weight I wish to be rid of

forever.

Now, please.

Oh to walk across that river, unburdened, to new land,

free, rejoicing, dancing, singing, loving, living

the life you've given me.

Amen.

grand cache

2010-06-07T20:43:00.000-06:00

I'm here. Sometimes I wonder why I'm doing this... when I miss my husband and kids so much I can't think, and when I compare my home with this one, and my ways with these ways.... Yet somehow I think it's the right thing. It'll give me perspective and that's healthy. That's hard to see when you're always home.

Trusting God that it all turns out well and good.

going away

2010-06-01T19:11:00.000-06:00

I'm going away to work. It's the same job as last time. Oh you didn't know? Well, I work every day, but it's usually at home. With kids. Yeah. On Saturday I'm flying out to do a Safety Watch job. I'll be minding confined space and doing air quality control.

Not sure I like being away. I do like that I'll earn some music money. Yeah.

motivation

2010-05-10T19:14:00.001-06:00

How is it that I cannot motivate my children? They appear to want to be active and busy, but when the ideas come from me they're uninterested. Today they have no ideas of their own.

I have so much on my mind, I can't think for them too. What then?

Focus/attention span

2010-05-01T14:23:00.001-06:00

About learning fiddle:

I have talked at length with a prominent Canadian fiddler who has been in music forever, teaching as well as performing. He advocates fiddling because it keeps the kids and everyone having fun. However, it's important to learn the instrument first.

After having learned instruments in the past with minimal instruction I have to agree. I always had a bit of teaching at the beginning but because of finances I could never take private lessons. This is okay for lots of things because you can muddle through. Even tempered instruments are pretty straight forward. You can't make the piano sound worse than it's tuning - it's already there. Same as the guitar - put your fingers in the right place and you're playing. However with the violin if you don't get the right bow grip, or move the arm properly, or place the left hand correctly you will get such a horrible sound that even you will not want to hear it! I took a few lessons in the beginning to learn how to hold the thing and how to move the bow but after that relied on my ear, my ability to read and group lessons for further instruction. None of that compares to learning the instrument. No one ever sees or hears your errors in a group, and it's impossible without a ton of previous training to hear the bow in a recording. It's very hard to see when it's played, too. I've been doing that for about 4 years now and still not 'sounding' as nice as the people I admire. They play the same song but sound much better. That's when I had the talk with Daniel, and I realized it's because I don't know the instrument well enough. ‘Own’ the instrument, then play. It's like that.

For kids that means endless technical requirements, for years, before they get really great sound. They do okay, but some kids intuitively know it's not quite right and if they don't love it they won't want to continue. Something has to motivate them to love it because it's just plain hard work. Throw in a fiddle tune now and then, a group jamming environment, opportunities to see and hear how it can be done and give plenty of room in addition to regular lessons for creativity, and they'll love it. Or not. Some kids just don't love music enough to work hard to learn skills. My girls for instance have grown up with music all around them, have had opportunity to try out many instruments and have tried them. The fiddle is just too awful sounding for them to want to pursue it! They both have lovely voices, play around at the piano and accordian, and enjoy pennywhistle. They've talked about pursuing other strings, but are entirely put off by the violin. That may change as they get older, but it might not. I may have no other fiddler in the house. Kind of sad but a possible reality.

I'm taking private lessons for the first time in my life. I've 'always' been a musician - it was impossible to stop me from it. Whenever I came to a roadblock I found a way around and pursued learning and skill building regardless of the circumstances. These violin lessons are demanding and require huge sacrifice but I love it! totally love it and am thrilled that my family is willing to put out the money for me to have two lessons a month. Wish it could be more.....

Your child may just not be into fiddling. If he wants to play and learn, maybe he needs to hear more? listening is very important. More important than lessons, dare I say. Just like the early reading to him is as valuable to his personal reading ability, right? he needs to hear it. If he hears it and is enthralled he's captured by it and will do the work. If he's not, you might be wasting your time and your money.

lest I step on toes here....

it's just my point of view. As with anything personal and deep, music runs in me and makes me who I am. I don't mind if you don't agree.

kim

if I had a choice

2010-05-01T14:15:00.001-06:00

.........I'd play fiddle all day .............I'd never eat meat ............there would be a hired housekeeper ..........and always a baby in my house ..........stay up late and wake when I wake ......... I pretty much choose. Kim

spiritual Sunday

2010-04-26T15:22:00.000-06:00

Food for thought:

I always tried to remember, amidst all the morning busy -ness of life, to read scripture with my children. Sometimes I did; lots of days I didn't. Life crept in with all it's distractions (Paul refers to this many times) and I was so busy doing (like Martha) that I forgot about being (like Mary). Then things happened, trials, that put all the busy-ness out of me because I simply couldn't, and that's when I was brought up to it again: I need the Word as sustenance. Food for the body, food for the soul, all had to be there for me to be whole. Life became very plain to see when I could do nothing, literally flat out in bed for months.

While I don't wish this on anyone it's important to know that it's the trials of life that God uses for His purpose: to make us like Him. He prepares us and brings us there, to Him, like Him, by allowing the trials and forcing us to see our need of Him. Sometimes the trials are monstrous and sometimes not, but it tends to be the monstrous ones that force us along. Sometimes even the wilderness of sin or despair or rebellion are the trials; I want to know Him but 'something' is in the way, my sin. See?

Over all the years I've always felt, too, that I'm not a good enough parent for my children and oh, why did He give them to me if I'm so disabled and insufficient? How can I possibly love them like I ought? How can I show Him to them if I can't see Him myself? I still don't know. But I know this: it is Him who has begun this good work in me and it is Him that will complete it. When I look back at who I was at 20, and 30, and 40, I know that I am not the same at (almost) 50. I have not 'arrived' at the godly woman that I asked Him to make me when I was 15, but I am closer, much closer. Every time, now, that a trial comes along (I'm in one right now, big) I don't automatically go to Him, but I go faster. My response isn't pretty, but it's honest. Recovery and learning isn't instant, but it's clear and near. See?

And every now and then there is a bit of encouragement along the way. My son, last summer, was affirmed in his knowledge of scripture. He credited me with that. My other son still quotes some of the lengthy Psalms I 'made' him work on to know, and draw, and illustrate, and dissect, and calls Psalm 91 his most favourite of all scripture. Another son told me the other day on the phone that when he was reading the Word the other day the Lord took him to a place that answered his questions so clearly that the truth is plain to see and will affect his life forever in the area in question. And the other one tells me that every day in his reading he gets a sense for what he should do in a day, who he should talk to, and even (today) how to respond even in sadness, with truth (a puppy died, an expensive, special one). My girls are young yet but even they respond with His word on occasion. Most recently it was my ten year old talking about why people shouldn't be so hyper about the environment because the earth is the Lord's and He's in charge of it, so why worry.....

By now you're probably wondering why I even tell you this.... I'm not sure but I feel like one of you needs this affirmation of the efforts you make. Loving your husband and children does not come naturally, for any of us, and God says we learn it. Ideally there are older women who've been through it to tell us. I didn't have any, and lots of you don't, but we still must learn it somehow. I'm suffering a crisis in confidence right now and spent yesterday in a very bad state of loneliness and despair. I stayed home from church, from a family lunch, from a concert and from my family, cloistered in my room all day. Today I woke to realize that I'm terribly needy of 'more' of something and without it I won't ever get over this lonely thing that I've lived with my whole life. That something is God, I know in my head, but somehow I'm just not there where I should be. I was last week, and I may be tomorrow, but I'm not now. Life's like that.

Be strong and courageous. He will never leave you.

Kim

Learning

2010-02-22T13:04:00.001-07:00

I finally started taking violin lessons. My teacher has a lifetime of playing and I know she has a lot to share with me! I have two lessons a month right now – that’s all I can afford. Tuning the instrument with a tuner is no longer allowed so I’ve been practising that. It’s easier than I thought. Keeping my thumb by the second finger instead of the first has been revolutionary. Who’d a thought that such a small thing would make such a huge difference! The Little Sevcik is an interesting book, which probably sounds odd to say. It’s not much more than a series of exercises on how to use my fingers :) but it’s very worth it. My fourth finger is finally being put to good use and my intonation is improving every day.

I’m also in a fiddle group. Everything is learned by ear in this group, and of course I haven’t had the time to learn the songs so I’m full up on new fiddle tunes for a while. I read well so it’s been easy, but oh, getting them known by heart is hard.

Friday

2010-02-05T09:22:00.001-07:00

I'm distressed today. And feeling rather lonely. Considering that I have had a busy week and a really busy weekend coming up I can't say exactly why, either. I tend to thrive on people things and this week has been full of them.

This is my Victoria weekend. I have a day and a night in town with friends, playing fiddle. Tomorrow I have a workshop with Patti Lamoureux (famous in fiddle circles) and after a wee date with my hubby I have an open mic night in Chemainus. On Sunday I'm participating in the church service and then in the evening going to Nanaimo to meet and hear Troy McGillivray (another famous Canadian fiddler, from Cape Breton). That gives me Sunday afternoon to relax a bit. This week:

I bought, then had to decline the purchase of a mandolin. This morning before I go to Vic I have to go to her home and get my money back. She's a new widow, lonely and broke, and I wanted to help her out. I can't.

I met a violin teacher with 40 years of experience playing in orchestras, and signed up for lessons (even though it's a huge financial sacrifice, I've been struggling with the urge to study formally for quite a while, and now I think I've found the right person and feel I must. While John completely supports this it is a huge financial commitment and scary.). In the city (half hour away).

I played with a group of local fiddlers, not knowing 'any' of their music or anything about them, and sight read for two hours successfully. Very exciting. Also in the city, at night, in pitch black darkness, pouring rain. Stressful and sick.

I learned that my youngest sister is facing cancer. She has 3 children and thinks she's going to die.

I learned that my oldest son is moving back to Alberta because he has no work, no money and no home here, and thinks he never will. He doesn't like living in Alberta but, well, he has to do something. I'm sad for him.

I supervised my daughter through a government exam. She was stressed; I was stressed.

I talked and talked and talked to the girls about their home work and how important it is that they call it important, and how they have to choose their music, activity and arts, not me, and why that matters. They want me to choose. I don't want to.

I wrote seasonal reviews for the girls (like report cards) and their study gaps became highly visible. Now I have to respond. I'm tired.

I need to do a few things to help my youngest son get fully prepared for his Nicaragua trip (he leaves on the 10th, with Samaritan's Purse) and it has to be done today (he just phoned to inform me of this). Before I go to Victoria, of course.

I must go to Victoria today because the fiddle society has their AGM tonight. I have to be there, which means I can't cancel today, of all days. I would cancel if not for the meeting.

and so on.....

On Friday mornings I usually do laundry and clean up the house so the weekend is housework free. I usually cook ahead too. Today, because I have to go to someone's house, the bank and the grocery I won't be able to do it. When I am trying to relax on Sunday it'll be staring me in the face because, quite likely, no one else will do it. Even if I ask it's likely to remain undone. I'm training my girls to fill in when needed, but they don't do it easily yet.

So you see, while I am usually very excited about my Victoria weekend, at the end of this sort of week I'm just tired, and wondering, and all the stresses of the past few months feel like they're on my shoulders. I think I'll feel better once I'm on my way - someone else drives, so I have an hour and a half to relax in the car - but being ready is stressing me out.

that's my Friday.

trying

2010-01-23T14:27:00.001-07:00

new things on the computer. I'm told Open Office is easy to use and free. Better than spending $ on Microsoft Office I suppose. Who's got extra money for that?

So much is new

2010-01-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of decisions to make. Some things are big, like do I go back to university? do I continue studying music? should I focus on studying to for sure make money with it when I’m done? how should the girls study? do I have time to learn all the things I want to learn? where does gardening, sewing and playing fit in? how do I keep up with technology? does anyone read a blog and is it worth my time?

In the meantime there is sun shining outside in winter and it’s mild. I should be there not messing around on the computer. Because everyone else is outside it means that the house is quiet, which helps me think and plan and write. Can’t have it both ways? I’d sure like to. If I could be left alone to work I’d be very happy with that.

A photo. Just an ordinary photo. 13 years ago a little princess was born to us. Now she’s a lovely young lady princess :)

Happy Birthday darlin!

Christmas, and why can't I keep up a blog?

2010-01-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hm. Well. Christmas has come and gone again. I'm grateful that we had a fun family time. We're pretty poor right now, but the boys put in their cash toward groceries and it worked out. We ate and talked and played and talked and ate some more. There were a few gifts but it was very minor to our celebration. I'm so completely pleased with the way it worked out I hope it's like this every year!

now to clean up all the mess......
All the pictures are too big to put here. After I resize I'll put some up.

Bluegrass

2009-09-14T19:36:00.000-06:00

I attended the British Columbia Bluegrass Workshop, otherwise known as BCBW ,
for two weeks this summer. There are too many highlights to talk about them all,
but one of the best was playing Cripple Creek with a little band. We called
ourselves Sorrento Ride, because (most of us) we rode together from the island
to camp. We met the mando player there but otherwise were new friends at the
start of the trip. Thanks friends for a great couple of weeks!

I'm Knitting

2009-08-07T10:58:00.002-06:00

Dishcloths. Yup. Dishcloths.

Somehow every time I starting knitting I forget what I'm doing. Then I thought, well, maybe if I knit the same thing over and over again I'll remember! It's like memorizing a song, I guess.

so I have a bazillion plain knit cloths - gave them away.

And I have a few slip stitch cloths - they them away too. I didn't photograph a single one. Shame on me. Right now I have a bit of leftover yarn and some white so I'm knitting up a couple more slip stitch cloths and will photograph these ones. I think i finally have the pattern memorized. The book is from the library. It's called Mason Dixon Knitting - if I figure out how to make a link for it here I'll do it but for now you'll have to look it up yourself. It's a really cool book, with lots of awesome fun knitting in it that's not all that hard. This is one I think I'll buy.

In the meantime I'm learning to knit by dishcloths. So far I have 2 that I can make without a pattern. Crochet seems easier somehow - I'm learning that too. Afghans with granny squares are the easiest thing ever. The kind of blanket that goes round and round is the most fun because I don't have to sew all the little squares together! The thrift store supplies most of my yarn too so the blankets are cheap to make. So far they're all given away too! One of these days I'd like to learn a new crochet thing to make into a blanket. Flowers are fun too but I haven't done much of them yet. I want to be able to adorn whatever I have with flowers and other motifs - that's the fun part of crocheting!

later then..

it's been a while

2009-06-16T20:12:00.002-06:00

Almost a year in fact. I guess I've rather given up blogging. At the urging of fellow bloggers and friends I've decided to try this again. Maybe I'll be regular...

life

2008-09-11T15:37:00.000-06:00

is not fun today. I am doing poorly and feel like I always will. sigh.

does anyone read?

2008-08-10T12:31:00.004-06:00

personal blogs, I mean.

If family members are involved, there's a reason to write. If there is a reading audience, there is a reason. If even one person gets anything out of it, there is a reason to write.

Sometimes I need a reason. Sometimes I don't. I want to write to put my thoughts out of my head, and then I get confused about who might be reading. Then what?

why do I write here anyways?

best listening

2008-08-10T12:31:00.001-06:00

XM Radio - Listen Online

love this!

Camp Imaden

2008-07-13T16:24:00.002-06:00

I'm cooking at camp.

This is good. It's a privilege to serve. It's hard work too. Funny how warm weather perspective changes depending on where you are. Inside that kitchen is way too warm. At the beach, it's perfect ! funny, that.

Somehow in the hurry to get out the door I left my fiddle at home. Unless some kind person drives it up here for me I will suffer fiddle withdrawal that I'm sure will stunt my growth and bring certain sleep deprivation, among other ills. Please, someone come to Imadene with my fiddle....

until then, I'll hum. I think.

I'm thinking

2008-06-20T11:00:00.003-06:00

about the difference between people who think and people who don't.

What happens when people don't think? Are they any different from the animals who live to fulfill their urges? Do they know they're not thinking? Are they not aware that we humans are made in the image of something much bigger than ourselves, and that we can live up to that bigness?

There are a lot of unanswerable questions.

What I know is, People who consume for the sake of consuming tell me by their actions that they are only a little above the animal kingdom. Is that hard? When faced with People who attack, ridicule, harass, perjure, slander and condemn other People I can only assume they act this way because they don't think.

Accepting life closed up in a box of one's own urges, independent of the Likeness of our Creator, must be the greatest of all sins.

home

2008-06-17T22:18:00.002-06:00

I knew it. Why did I ever doubt it? I am blessed. God is good. After meeting my siblings this week I can no longer doubt the difference that is me because of Christ.

Thank you

still here

2008-05-20T19:47:00.002-06:00

in the cabin.

It's not cold anymore. It's too warm to cook on the woodstove. We're not ready to move in but I have to move the kitchen to the house. It's hard work, and requires lots of travel between the house and the cabin. Good exercise I guess!

So if you read this, and I can't read your blog, please invite me to it. I'm talking mostly to you parrish people tee hee :) It's the only way an old aunty can keep in touch here!

sometimes

2008-03-03T18:55:00.003-07:00

life is just too hard. You don't agree? try living at my house for a week or a month, and see if you don't change your mind. I'm heating the place with wood, and cooking on a woodstove, and heating water with the woodstove. That's too hard. I sleep on a bunk, alone, with barely enough room to step out of bed before I hit the wall, and sometimes it's roasting hot in there and other times it's freezing cold. I have no privacy, no electricity and no toilet in my home. There is almost constant traffic through that one room and almost never quiet. It's just too hard to be happy.

But you know, I am happy. I know in my head that it's too hard. On top of everything else there are kids that need me and don't admit it, but fight instead, puppies that think they're in charge and a husband who is working so hard he is always tired. It is hard, too hard. But somehow I'm happy. There are times when I don't know how I'll go on. Then the puppy who makes the most noise and mess will come and spontaneously love me with doggie kisses. Or the young man asks me to show him how to knit socks. Or the girl decides to help somewhere so I don't have to. Or the tired husband fills up the woodpile with hot burning fuel for my cooking fires. I know that I am loved and it blesses me. And then I can go on.

facebook

2008-01-24T12:44:00.001-07:00

I'm considering the benefits and curses of facebook. I miss blogging that's the biggest curse.

Tell me: should I quit facebook so I have time to blog? should I put all my blogs into one blog? should I give up blogging all together? or should I ditch the whole thing, get mail addresses and write letters like I used to?

That's really the big question. I used to write letters to people, in pen, sending them in the mail with a stamp. It takes time and effort but makes me think about that person personally. then I used to email personally. Then I blogged. Now I Facebook. hm. New verb....

Really though. The progression from very personal (everyone likes a hand written letter, right? I know I do, and I really miss them...) to very unpersonal (like thinking someone is home because they're online on Facebook, and then realizing of course, one does not need to be home to be there...) is unsettling. It's lonely too. I want to hear voices on the phone. I want to see handwriting and have letters to keep. I want to write and send. Then I go online and Facebook instead. And I don't even know if the people that I really want to communicate with even see the pictures I've put up there, or read the notes or even care about my 'status'. How could I know? The little bit of time it takes to make a phone call requires me to stop what I'm doing, and then I fear no answer on the other end. And rejection.

Maybe that's why facebooking is easier. Rejection is hidden.

But I'm not rejecting. I want to pull up a chair and chat, even with those who live far away from me. I have friends from one corner of this country to the other and I would like to visit every one of them - with a letter? a phone call? facebook? blog?

I really don't know.

it's over

2008-01-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

Christmas. It was good. Glad to have had my kids all home and visit with friends. I missed some of them too. It's good to be able to have people in our little place without worrying what they think of it. Everyone just settles in and it's nice.

We have puppies now. Two of them. It's harder than babies as far as I'm concerned.

Christmas

2008-01-05T16:13:00.000-07:00

It's come. It's gone. Christmas, another year, time goes.... I don't mind most of the time but then I recall times before when I didn't like it, again. Dark, wet rain, daily drenching any enthusiasm I might have to be and do whatever. This time I share my limping tent with only the basic necessities of life and nothing more. We have a little bit of light inside this cabin, one power bar worth of power, a woodstove for hot water, cooking and heat, and foam on plywood for beds. There is a bit of room to store clothing in boxes, a cupboard for food, shelving for dishes and pots, and a washroom up the hill. The front porch stores perishables in coolers and our firewood gets sort-of dry waiting there.

And our family has grown. We are Mom and Dad, three kids and three dogs. Yes, three. Tigger is the youngest: a sweet little boxer of 2 months. She's a little thing, and somewhat sickly at the moment, so is in someone's arms most of the time. Then there is Einstein. Emma named her after Mr Einstein, the science guy, because you know she looks like him Mom..... She's 5months old and will always be a house dog because she's so little. This little girl will likely never weigh more than 5 pounds! And then there is Nanni. She is big and black and lovely. So far she's also very jealous of the puppies. We hope her acceptance will grow. Right now the babies are asleep in their (at the moment) shared bed and Nanni is asleep beside them. All is well at the moment!

laundry

2007-10-29T23:52:00.000-06:00

It's interesting how much fun laundry can be until you have to go out to do it. Even then if you involved the company of a friend it can be enjoyable.

Life is like that don't you think? There are many, many hard or unpleasant parts, but when you find someone to help you along, even if it's just by keeping company, it's do able.

That's why God says we must encourage one another daily. Daily. I forget that. And that means I forget that my children and my husband need encouragement as much as I do. There I go again wanting to be encouraged and forgetting to do it myself.

I need to remember to be the company encourager. Lord help me!

the last time

2007-07-08T17:13:00.001-06:00

I played with the Bluegrass Orphans for the last time today. I'm sad. Those guys are so much fun and so encouraging. I've grown so much from being able to play with them. Today I did an improvised solo for the first time! Who'd a thought!? Considering that in February I could barely stand in front of anyone to perform I've come a long way!!!

I'm going to be always grateful for Ed, Amber, Paula and Tom. They have been so good to work with. They took me in with all my inexperience and inadequacy and helped me become a performer. A gift from God!! I'm very grateful.

There was a huge finality to our shows today. We played for Stampede breakfasts in two places in Calgary. Likely as not I'll never do that again. it was first and last all at once. And I probably won't be playing with this crew. It made me happy and sad all at the same time. Happy to know how far I've come and sad that it looks over. But I know there are other musicians and I'm already 'stoked' (the latest word the boys are using these days....) over going to fiddle camp on Salt Spring and maybe even taking in a bluegrass festival in Sorrento. There are a few places to jam in Nanaimo and around the island, and I will be more likely to find a fiddle teacher too. If I can also find a group to play with I will be thrilled! I made money playing today and every other time that I performed lately. That makes it even more worthwhile!! Roots bluegrass is very interesting and difficult. It certainly requires experience to perform it. Here's hoping something comes up real soon.

update for M....

2007-05-20T00:20:00.000-06:00

So here I am. Busy as ever. Decided to sell all our furniture. Easier to move that way! I've been making lists and showing people through the house since last week. I hope it all sells.

Our 25th anniversary was this week. I hope to have a big party when we get out to Ladysmith. Probably the long weekend in Sept. We spent a couple of days in Canmore - it's great place to relax.

Bluegrass jam was awesome tonight. I'm going to really miss that playing time! My mando playing has come along wonderfully and tonight I was able to keep up with the chord changes. Never done that before! My last recital is on Thursday. I'm a bit nervous about it - I've only been playing mandolin for a couple of months and here I am playing in public already! But it's okay if I flop. Right now I feel pretty good about my playing and well, what will happen if it isn't perfect?

It's way too late to still be up. Time to go to sleep!

Oh, and I write on xanga too, remember! My best intentions to keep up two diaries don't always get fulfilled.

I really like this picture of the girls and C. They were sliding down the stairs on the sleeping bag! C really liked it too - no fear for him!

that's it for me tonight folks. till the next time, I remain truly tired in blog land...

rain

2007-05-03T22:01:00.000-06:00

so now that we've decided we are moving from the prairie to an island, reality has hit. Today it has rained non stop, hard. It's chilly and damp and windy, and very much like the west coast. I know I must make ready! Cool thing is I don't mind. Not yet anyways. I feel like I'm going home. Ah. A rain lullaby.....

the big day

2007-04-12T22:04:00.000-06:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day. I'm playing in our final concert for the year. I'm happy, because I'm ready and looking forward to time for other things, but I'm sad because I'm going to miss my group. I'm going to miss playing and singing for hours every week with them. And I've learned so much that I don't want to lose momentum on that! I've learned that I really am a performer. I love it! Every time I get in front of people it's a little easier than the last time.

We played at a church near Rosebud last Sunday. It went very well. It was our best time yet. We started with some old hymns that I absolutely love and that warmed me up perfectly. I love leading hymns! Then I played a couple of fiddle breaks for the first time ever and they both went well. I also was priviledged to share my testimony with the congregation. It was my Easter offering - He is risen indeed! He has done more than I ever thought possible with my life. To Him be the glory!

We played tonight at the senior's center and it went well. We were very relaxed and joking around - that makes it extra fun. I like that part! The people there are not always very excited to see us, it appears, but they always enjoy the music and are smiling and happy when we leave. It's nice to know we're adding to their day with our songs. I've enjoyed hanging around and having tea with the people there too. I'm going to miss them. Never thought I would. But there are some really nice people there. And it's kind of funny how they react to us - they are always amazed when they learn that I have six children. Can't quite tell why. but they've heard that I'm a mom of six every time we've been there, and today they were just as surprised as the last time! I'm looking forward to being that forgetful! Old and sweet and smiling! One day Lord willing.

As of this weekend all my outside responsibilities will be over. My last whistle class was today and our last ensemble function is on Saturday night. Oh, what will I ever do with all the time!? Oh, pack about a zillion books - I've started already - and sort another zillion toys and bits of this and that. The good news is that we aren't moving most of our stuff. Yup. You heard right. I'm leaving most of my furniture right here. What doesn't sell will be given away. There is a wonderful 50's sofa and chair set, tons of bookshelves, chests of drawers, and misc other household things. I want to pare down so that when we move we'll only need one small truck. John points out, of course, that just our books, music and musical instruments would fill that small truck! But you never know. I might get rid of everything else.

I'm looking forward to clearing out our stuff. I'm not looking forward to saying good bye. I know this place so well and so much of me is involved here that it's going to involve some emotional surgery to be able to depart quietly. I've got time, though, and I hope it's enough to make it bearable. I'm praying to that end. I go around and look at the green shoots of plants I have watched grow for years and see the buds swell on the trees and I get full of gratitude for what God has done in our lives here. It's been wonderful. He has given us so much. I know there is more to come and I'm excitedly waiting to see what He has. But it's still hard to say good bye.

Good bye also means hello, though, and I'm looking forward to that. Hello to my dear friends on the island, who know me so well that we hardly have to speak some times. Hello to the house that I've spent so much time in and only thought about it being home. And hello to the trees and mountains and water that enrich us so wonderfully. I'm looking forward to that. And I heard that there is a new church being planted in Duncan, only 25 minutes from our new place, that we could likely fit into very well. That's a huge encouragement. Just imagine being part of a brand new work! I'm excited. And being able to visit Andrew and Melony in their new place will be wonderful. Melony was converted from a prairie girl to a west coaster in half an hour! They are in paradise, they claim , on that little island. I'm glad for them.

This summer we'll have a big party too, to celebrate our anniversary and say hey, we're here. ya'll come, now! It'll be either the August long weekend or the September one. Depends on when we can get our act sort of together! Stay posted.

something new

2007-04-04T17:42:00.000-06:00

I found this site where I can make up playlists of songs and then post it here with a player in the blog. How cool is that! I can add or change the playlists any time I want, too.

Besides that I'm enjoying myself learning mandolin tunes. Pretty much anything that I can play on fiddle can be played on the mando. The notes are the same. I'm liking it. Today I learned Ashokan Farewell. Very pretty tune.

Besides that I have to say I'm disgusted by this weather. It's snowing. Still. It's been snowing since Sunday afternoon. There is no clear sky in sight either. I'm truly, truly disgusted. And looking forward to living on Vancouver Island. Yes, I think I've decided I like rain better. Well, maybe a little rain, but not a lot.... Anyways I'm so tired of this winter I just want to scream. But who would care?

since I was planning on being out all day with the girls - we'll have to visit the fiddle guy later - I've decided to have a day off. The girls have enjoyed the snow (how they still could 6 months later....?) and are playing away. I'm playing by myself, inside, pouting like a child. not really. But I sure feel like it.

keepin up the blog

2007-03-19T22:02:00.000-06:00

I intend to keep this up so if you're looking don't despair. If I know you're reading it'll be more fun to write, btw!

I'm really enjoying performance. I thought it would never happen. Each time I play in public I am more confident and excited. I might even be showing off a bit! Hey wait a minute. That's not like me, but I'm finding it is.. Kind of fun.

Right now I'm listening to some awesome mandolin and I'm inspired. I'm going to play like that one day. On the mando, n0t just on the violin. Yup. You bet. Have mandolin will play.

Another good show

2007-02-26T23:48:00.000-07:00

I played on Saturday night. Again, we weren't flawless. But I was wasn't nervous. I'm so pleased.

We're playing again on Friday. I'm getting good at this!

toilet paper

2007-02-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

Okay. Dumb thing. Toilet paper. Where does it belong when not in use? In the bathroom I mean.

The men in our house think it can go anywhere. Window ledge. Sink counter. Floor. Whatever.

That means the women in the house have to get up and go get it.

They think we're weird for needing it handy. Go figure.

what do you think?

Our dog

2007-02-21T21:25:00.000-07:00

No, we don't have a dog. But we do. I'll explain!

Our neighbours are often away. They work and go to school. You know how it is. They also do a lot of weekend travelling - P's in demand! Right now most of the family is in Hawaii. Wish I was! Only 1 family member is home and he's in class all day. Because he's 20ish he's also socializing at night. This means that the dear little dog is home alone a lot. She has decided that we are her second home. She comes to the door, gives her little greeting and refuses to leave until she's had a visit. Sometimes she stays for hours (last night we thought we were having a sleepover) and sometimes just a quick walk about to see what's happening. Right now she's curled up on my bed like she owns it. She's quiet and cute and very lovable. I quite enjoy her company. And I don't have to feed her!

We'll be getting dogs when we move. At least 1 or 2!

my first time here

2007-02-17T22:51:00.001-07:00

I hope you all find me. When you do, friends, please leave a comment so I know you've been here. thanks.